Google may or may not be the Devil and knowing is half the battle
I was almost on the verge of calling myself a hypochondriac. What the worst part of this “disease” (and I put this in quotations because I don’t want myself to be labelled with a disease ), is the not knowing part.
There were days that I thought I was dying. There were days that I thought I would not live another year to see my son grow up. Am I being melodramatic? NO. When symptoms flare up in the NOT KNOWING state, that’s how you feel. You have absolutely NO IDEA what is going on with you. This precipitated (at least for me), really bad anxiety, depression and hopelessness. I’m not sure if the latter was a result of a) not knowing or b) a symptom. But I can certainly say that AFTER I knew, the anxiety and depression went away, because I knew what I was dealing with. I hope it stays that way throughout this treatment. I read that some meds will make these feelings come back. I’m not sure if I will get to a point in the treatment where I will think, “Hey is this working or what?” and get depressed about it.
I am thankful I can still run up and down the stairs, drive, cook, go about my daily duties and most importantly work. I sleep uninterrupted for 8 hours a day. My brain can still function to great capacity (when my brain is not too tired or fogged up). The first big hurdle of the diagnosis is finally over. Now the second hurdle is to go through with the treatment. I am praying I don’t end up with any bad side effects that would land me in the hospital. Just thinking about the ER Staff asking me why I am there, is a dread.
Did your diagnosis give you a big sigh of relief? Has your treatment made you more or less anxious?
In the INSIGHTS INTO LYME DISEASE TREATMENT by Connie Strasheim that I just purchased, an except that can be found on her site really helped me in the way of thinking.
Excerpt by Steven Harris, MD
Who Are Those That Heal From Lyme Disease? Who Are Those That Don’t? The people who tend to heal from Lyme disease are those who don’t know how sick they are. They are those who are out there doing things, living life and functioning amidst all of the adversity that Lyme disease brings into their lives. They are the ones who really push themselves to get better, which means that ironically, the most adrenally-depleted people might be those who are having the most success with their recovery. Such people go out and get sunshine every day. They stretch and do all the tasks that are required of them to heal, such as daily skin brushing, colonics and keeping a good diet. They are able to focus on their symptoms but not make the symptoms the focus of their lives.
Also, people who can roll with the punches, take things in stride, adapt to adversity, self-manage symptoms as they come up and make decisions on their own, are those who heal. They are of the sort who can make the decision to stop a supplement if they no longer need it, and to research new supplements but not base their life decisions upon what others tell them about those supplements. They hunker down and stay in the healing process for the long haul, and can balance immediate gratification with deferred gratification. They are open to trying new things, don’t focus on every single symptom that manifests in their bodies and don’t have to know the reason “why” for everything; for example, why certain remedies work and why certain things are happening to their bodies.
I think that it is really important for those with Lyme to have a positive attitude, too. This can be taken to a fault; some Lyme sufferers might be “happy herxing” for two years, and I think that’s ridiculous, but it’s good if they are able to adapt to adversity and to view failures as a bump in the road, instead of as a curse.
For example, the person who is able to get over a gallbladder attack, a negative reaction to a medication or an IV line complication and say, “Okay, that didn’t work, let’s try something else,” instead of becoming despondent and giving up, has an easier time healing. Those who don’t get “stuck” in persistent thoughts of disease or who don’t get post-traumatic stress from their illness or treatments also heal faster than those who do.
Toxic partners are another block to healing. It’s extremely difficult for family members to understand what the sick person is going through, and it’s a huge detriment to that person’s healing.
Likewise, when people harbor anger, blame others, get stuck and hung up on details, or have other forms of emotional distress, their healing becomes compromised.
Other impediments to healing include mold, yeast and other toxic chemicals in the environment.
Finally, people who aren’t on the Internet all of the time asking questions about Lyme disease and getting totally despondent when hearing stories about patients who kill their pastors, have an easier time healing!
The last sentence is definitely for me. I’m a big GOOGLER. Google actually saved me. It led me to my diagnosis and allowed me to keep persisting. I also knew that googling made me worse, it made me anxious and depressed. And so I stopped and began to read more of the Bible. I teeter tottered back and forth between google and the Bible. Well, I know now that I will keep google to a minimum only when needed. I hope you do the same.