Random Thoughts + Weekly Wrap Up
I promised myself that I would not get emotional on this blog. I meant it to be a factual documentation of my treatment. Well you can trash that now. It’s hard not to be emotional.
When I named this blog, that is exactly how I felt and still feel. COMPLETELY LYMED OUT. Tired of the hundreds of hours spent on researching, reading stories, reading forums, going to doctors, spending my savings, waiting for results. It became an obsession. I’m angry that instead of enjoying the playing time with my little 5 year old, I’m wasting my time by trying to find out how others coped with their Lyme and meds. I’m angry that Lyme invaded my thoughts, that when I get up at night to use the washroom, the first immediate thought is LYME. I’m angry that last night, I almost smashed a plate into the window because my husband wanted to eat his dinner in front of the TV instead of sitting in the kitchen to watch me cook. That is NOT who I am. I don’t smash plates!
I will NOT refer to anyone or myself a Lymie. I’ve heard so many times “We Lymies need to stick together!” To me, the term Lymie just labels the person with an indefinite disease that will never be cured. I don’t even want to label it as a disease. I just call it Lyme. Or Germ. Hell, I’ll even call it “IT”. Am I in denial? No. Is it my coping method? Maybe.
I got some encouragement with the book I’m reading, Insights Into Lyme Disease Treatment. I take this book into my Infrared Sauna, where I can read in peace. One of the doctors explained it very well. We all have germs and bacteria living in our body. Sometimes the germ load is so high our immune systems are compromised and the bacteria overtakes. What we need to do is bring that germ load down.
I remember my appointment with my Lyme Homeopath. I kept asking “When will be cured?”, “Why should I start on the Candida Detox? Shouldn’t I target the Lyme first?” With homeopathy, it’s really not about that. It’s about “HOW YOU FEEL”. They view the entire body and how to treat that not really treating “Lyme”. I thought this was interesting.
I’ve been gently nudged by friends to share my story with the press or TV. But why? I just saw one here on a very well known news channel. The story was so skewed it was comical. I know this because the lady with Lyme that was interviewed said they chopped up her story. I don’t want to spend time trying to get my story out. I just want to get better. I feel that it’s a lost cause. Yes, all the little news media here and there MIGHT get the word out to locals, but not on a national level. The only way that I think Lyme can become known is if it goes viral. Like Kony 2012. You would seriously need to be living under a rock to not know what that is. That’s what needs to be done. The only other way is when it reaches absolute epidemic levels. Kind of like The Walking Dead (sorry I’m a huge fan of zombie movies). Even then leaders will probably still be in denial.
I’ll be honest. I still haven’t watched “Under Our Skin”. The trailer alone just sends my stress signals to oblivion. Maybe later when I ready I’ll watch it. I think for me right now, I need to keep my googling and forum involvement to a minimum and just try to get on with my life.
So what’s the point of this post? I have no idea. Just random thoughts that I’m feeling right now. I may feel different in 10 minutes. That’s how it rolls.
Weekly Wrap Up
- Got A.F. early and unexpectedly for the first time like EVER (due to meds?) – which would explain the pissy mood I’m in.
- Finished a week of Plaquenil/Hydroxychloroquine. So now, I’m on 3 Antibiotics. Nystatin. Plaquenil. Zithromax (started this morning)
- Felt really good this week. No major herx’s. Minor joint pain, body buzzing, usual nausea but tolerable.
- Went in the sauna 3 times and am at 45 minutes. I must say that doing the sauna at night actually makes me sleep like a baby