lymed out

my quest to getting these suckas out!

Spiritual Healing – Does God talk to you?

I am certainly not one of those Christians who like to preach. Infact, I am far from. But this post is much long due.

Just to give you a little bit of background, I have been a Christian since I was 12. I know the power of God. When I was 14, He has saved me from a very bad car accident involving me being run over by 2 cars and dragged underneath one of them for 100 meters. Lying in the snow unconscious in -10 degree weather with onlookers piling their jackets on top of me to keep me warm, I wrote my mom’s work number in the snow so the ambulance could contact her. I have absolutely no recollection of this. While unconscious, I can remember to this day what I saw in my ‘near death experience’ dream. I was walking on something white towards a light. Then I woke up in the ambulance. The outcome? I was only hospitalized for a day with a minor bruise on my head and a black eye. I was back to school by Monday morning.

Throughout my life, God has shown up many many times. Whether or not I listened to Him, that is a whole different story. I also met my husband in Sunday School when I was 12. I must admit, there has been a period in my life where I strayed away and did my own thing. But He was still there, waiting for me. I kept pushing my doubts about Christianity away, but they soon surfaced. I was questioning things. Science, Religion. But in the back of my mind. I always knew that God was watching. I faithfully went to Church every Sunday because that’s what I have been doing my whole life.

Years after, this Lyme episode happened. At that point, I was so desperate, I started praying. I wrote a letter to God giving my life back to Him. I know somewhere deep within me, that I was given this life changing experience to make me get back closer to Him. And I have.

I don’t blame God for any of this. Infact, I thank Him. I would rather be suffering and praising Him, knowing that Heaven is waiting for me than to be perfectly healthy and NOT know Him. God has spoken to me many times. I can tell you when.

After my letter to God, I was in such depression (from the symptoms of my undiagnosed Lyme), I often went up for prayer at Church with my hubby holding my hand. I would give a general statement like, “Doctors don’t know what is wrong with me, can I please have some prayer?” They would lay their hands on me and then I would go home and go about life, with me wondering why He wasn’t answering anything I was praying about.

Soon after, things started to dawn on me. My little 5 year old kept singing this one song he learned from Sunday School. It went like this:

Behold, Behold
I stand at the door and knock, knock, knock
Behold, Behold
I stand at the door and knock, knock, knock
If any girl hear my voice,
If any boy hear my voice,
And will open, open, open the door,
I will come in.

He sang it so many times throughout the day for months that it started to annoy me, but I decided to record it on my phone anyway. One night as I was bored, I replayed this video. The way he sang it was so intense, something I missed while watching it live. It was almost like he was looking me right in the eyes, doing his hand motions like his life depended on it. Like he was trying to tell me something screaming inside “Mommy will you just listen to me for Pete’s sake!!!”. I kept replaying it. It suddenly dawned on me what was going on here. Jesus was speaking through him. I had finally opened my eyes to see. Took me a few months to realize that  God was knocking on my door and I wasn’t opening it.

Another time that I found God speaking through my son was when one day, (probably a Lyme rage day), I was getting upset at the most nonsensical things. I finally realized what a monster of a mom I was, I apologized to my little guy for getting angry at nothing. He looked at me and said “Mommy,  that’s ok, I forgive you. I will always forgive you“. I don’t even need to explain this one to you!

I will end this post here for now. Alot to digest and kind of a heavy post. Be on the lookout for my second installment called “Spiritual Healing (Part 2)” shortly. This will also tell you of some other incredible stories that led up to my diagnosis!


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3 thoughts on “Spiritual Healing – Does God talk to you?

  1. Great reading. I try to think of Lyme as a gift God gave me. Inside its ugly wrapping paper were OTHER gifts such as compassion & empathy, learning to steer clear of self-pity (that was tough and my AA sponsor helped me with that), learning to live life and stop procrastinating – like when I’m feeling GOOD, choosing to do something fun with my son instead of saying “maybe next week.” Tons of stuff. God knows me well enough that I don’t hear lessons without hurting in some way (usually emotionally). He really cranked up the pain volume on this one, but I’m learning. And I appreciate what I do have. Thanks for this great post and for making me remember. 🙂

  2. “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:19-20

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