lymed out

my quest to getting these suckas out!

C. Diff. That is all.

** Warning ** – This post might get a little intimate and TMI and I apologize in advance to the 4.5 personal friends I have told about this blog, and as as I have said before, if I had known that I would be discussing my bathroom habits in public, I probably would have hung myself.

So, I have been a little MIA this week. The reason being my paranoia has kicked in once again and I’m getting myself tested for C. Difficile. I’m not going to get into what that is and how bad it can potentially be, because I’m sure if you are following my blog, or have come here for some strange reason, that you already know what this is. However, I shouldn’t assume that one automatically knows what C. Diff is, because when I mentioned it to my husband tonight he looked all bewildered and says “C what?”, to which I rolled my eyes and said “Go back to watching whatever you were watching.”

Ok, so what led me to this self diagnosis? Well, I have been visiting the restroom about 3-4 times each morning. I noticed that this happens only after breakfast. It will end by about 10:30 – 11:00 am and then I’m fine for the rest of the day. But yesterday, I had the urge to go quite frequently. So wasting yet another day on this crap (pardon the pun), I went to google and searched the signs of C. Diff. I have no cramping and it’s not all day so I’m not even really sure if I have it or if it’s just a side effect of the thousand meds I’m on. The only way to really know is to get tested. And I’m also on good Probiotics and S. Boulardii following a GF, SF, YF Diet. With a skittle here and there.

I am not new to stool tests. I have done maybe 5 in my life. The first one when I was 17 coming back from a trip to the Far East. I thought I had ate something bad. It turned out to be stress and panic attacks. That is a whole other blog. Last year, in my quest to find out what was wrong with me, I did another stool test as prescribed by my doctor, since most of my symptoms were gastro related. This one was quite memorable. The reason for this was because I got my husband to drive the specimens to the lab because he was going in that direction. I said “Listen, don’t look inside the brown paper bag.” He says “Why would I want to.”

So off he goes and then I realized I gave him the wrong address to the lab. I then get a call from my mom, tell him to hang on, while I take the call. My mom coincidentally was in the area where he was and she was with my 4 year old. She said she needed me to pick him up. I said “Husband is in the area, he can scoot over and get him”. So I get back on the phone with hubby who is still confused about where to drop off this poop sample. I said “Ignore the sample, go pick up 4 year old.”

15 minutes go by, husband calls once again. “Ok I have 4 year old, where I am driving this crap to”. I said “Hang on while I google map this”. He is silent, waiting in the car with my impatient 4 year old and a stool sample in his hand. I said “ok I found it”. He says “are you sure, cause you have me driving all around town with this S***”. (and he NEVER swears) I think I must have about died from laughing so hard. I can’t believe what I made him go through.

So fast forward to today, off I go into the walk-in clinic and see Dr. Handsome. He says it is best to get tested just in case. So I agreed. The nurse comes in with all the containers and explains to me what to do. I said I already know, but listened just in case. The specimen can’t touch any urine or toilet water, so I would need to use a margarine container. I thought, “Great, where I am going to dispose this thing. Hmmm… maybe I can wrap it up in a bag and find a public garbage can like at a plaza.” Then I started to go a little crazy. “But what if the stench is so horrible, and the janitors smell it and send it some forensic lab and they figured it was me that publicly littered? Ok. Scratch that idea. Then I remembered what I did last year. Here is a trick for you so you don’t have to use any containers and then figure out where to get rid of it. You pile tissue paper in the toilet so it’s high enough and just go. It won’t touch any toilet water. And I remembered that because I wore glasses, I had to take them off and collect the sample because I was so grossed out, I needed to be partially blind to collect the specimen.

Wait a thought just occurred in my head. What if it’s the watery kind? Blast! I might need to use those margarine containers. UGH.

So then the nurse starts talking and breaks my train of thought. She says (with a huge grin on her face), “After you have collected the sample, you will need to either drive it back here pronto or put it in the fridge.” I thought, “Hmmm, Husband will take it, thinking it’s his lunch.” So I said, “Ok, I’ll put it in the fridge.”

So I get home with the bag of goodies and Husband says, “How was the walk-in.” I said “Guess what you are doing tomorrow!”



Yesterday was my birthday and I was adamant that I wouldn’t let myself feel sick due to the new introduction of Flagyl. Well, I was ok for most part of the day minus the frequent bathroom trips. I even forgot all about Lyme because Husband and 5 year old surprised me with a matching set of a Coach Purse + a wallet! (really I shouldn’t put that specimen sample in the fridge should I?)

So in the evening, because of the fact that I can’t eat in restaurants, we ordered in. And guess what happened. As my mom, husband and 5 year old sat around the table to have my birthday dinner, I was fell asleep on the couch for 2 hours.

I truly hope you enjoyed this post. If you have any C. Diff related stories, please share. My results will come back in about 10 days.


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