GOD IS SCREAMING AT YOU!
The writing of this post has been in my head for some weeks now and has been sitting in draft mode for what seems like forever. I wasn’t sure how to write it, but I’m just going to let my thoughts flow and list the events that took place the past 3 weeks in chronological order. It’s kind of lengthy, and might not be easily digested, so good luck reading this!
After the Flaygl brought me to hell in a handbasket, I made it back to earth and started googling “God heals Lyme.” This is by far much better than googling “Can Flagyl cause you to die.” I came across a video of a woman of faith who was healed from Lyme before she started her medication. Here is Part 1 below. You can find Part 2 Here and Part 3 Here.
One night, my Church had an anniversary service at night. I normally don’t like going on Sunday nights because it’s late and I have to get the little guy to bed and ready for school the next day, but hey I had to live a little. I told my husband we are only staying for half an hour and then we are leaving. So off we went to this special service. The worship was absolutely phenomenal. They did lots of old medleys (which I grew up with) mixed in with the newer generation songs. Well, we stayed for the entire thing which was about 1.5 hours and I didn’t even have the urge to leave my seat. It was like some force had stuck my butt to the seat. I was overwhelmed by the presence of God and what He has done in my life the past year. I heard this voice in me to simply believe that I would be healed. Just believe you are healed. This thought kept occurring over and over. Then I heard a voice saying to stop my meds. Now, I have never really experienced hearing the voice of God, so I’m not sure if it was my own thoughts or what. Or maybe it was that video I saw of the woman in Event #1 who didn’t even start her meds before she was healed.
My BFF was also harassing me (which I love her for) to watch these healing videos that her Pastor had posted on Youtube (which I will post in a separate post). Within the first 5 minutes of watching the first segment, the Pastor recites this verse.
Revelation 3:20: “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”
Now, if you have been reading my blog for some time now, this is the EXACT verse that my little 5 year old kept singing to me for 6 months before I finally listened. I couldn’t even finish watching the video, I just sat there analyzing what this meant and what God was trying to say to me.
I was in one of the regular Lyme forums one night and saw a post that went something like this:
“ Should I stop my medication? I am doing this test and am wondering if I should stop my medication. It’s for my own personal reasons, so please don’t judge me, just want your opinion and if any of you have done it, what happened.”
Um. OK. This is no coincidence. I didn’t just have those thoughts run in my head at church and then come across this very same question 2 days later written by someone else? Again, what is God saying here?
My BFF came over the next day and I shared with her all the events that I wrote above. We sat there and talked for about 2 hours and she shared with me her life experiences. A follower of Jesus herself, she is saying that all the above IS God speaking to me, it’s if I choose to hear and act on it. I was at a struggling point. I wasn’t sure whether or not I should stop my medication to witness this. Wait, I can’t stop my meds or the past two months would have been wasted. My LLMD would drop me as a patient? What if it doesn’t work? OMG I wasted all my money! If I didn’t stop, does that mean I am disobeying God? I didn’t know what to do. It’s a gigantic leap of faith.
We finished our conversation and went downstairs, the whole time the gears in my head were spinning. My BFF caught something out of the corner of her eye, and pulled out a reading lesson and stuck it in my face.
Keep in mind that this piece of paper was stashed underneath a frosted table which held a TV so I’m not even sure how she saw this, but she did. It was one of the reading lessons from my 5 year old’s Sunday School which taught on Jesus healing the lepers. I had kept it for a reason but forgot all about it. So there it is, now in front me, the words blatantly saying “Do you hear Me?
That night, I wasn’t ready to make that full commitment. Would God put me through such a test as to quit cold turkey on my meds and to trust that He would heal me? Or would he heal me THROUGH the medication? BFF says “Let me put this onto perspective for you. If God asked you to sacrifice your son, what would you do?” Um, Yikes, some pretty heavy stuff. I’m sure sacrificing meds is a whole lot easier than sacrificing your son. And I’m sure it wouldn’t cost me a 25+ year life sentence either.
My mom had bought a prayer book for my BFF and myself. A couple of weeks later, I went to a Bible Store. I was specifically wanting buy a journal and one that had the Jeremiah 33:3 verse on it but no luck. The only journal eye popping to me was this leather bound gold leafed book and I fell in love with. The inscription on the front said “For I know the plans I have for you.” Declares the Lord,” Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you the hope and a future.” Jer 29:11. I settled with that.
Another week passes by and I finally grab the prayer book my mom got me along with my new journal to take notes. I opened up the prayer book and noticed my mom had wrote a bible verse on the front page. I’ll give you one guess as to what it was. Yes. Jeremiah 29:11. Seriously what are the odds.
So I open the book and one of the verses on the bottom of the page is this. Yes, the Knock Knock Verse from Event #3. Ok what are the second odds of this!!!!!!!!
My BFF sometimes visits my church. They have Saturday night and Sunday morning services where my Pastor preaches the same word. One Saturday night she went there for a service. I get a text from her as soon as the service ends and it says, “Are you going to church tomorrow.” I said, “I’m not sure, depends how I feel 5 minutes before.” She says “You must go, I don’t care.” I think she was at the point of desperation for me and she spilled the beans. You don’t understand, you have to go because Pastor X’s whole message is on Revelation 3:20 (yep, that’s the Knock Knock verse!) I said “WHAT IN THE FLYING BLAZES IN GOING ON HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
BFF says to me: “GOD IS SCREAMING AT YOU!!!!!!!!”
A couple of days ago, my 5 year old was doing laps with his hotwheels and started singing. It was a variation of the Knock Knock song (which he hasn’t sung in about 8 months). It wasn’t even a Christian like version, just saying the words, Knock Knock are you listening?
I stopped drying my hair and looked at him and said, “What song is that?” He said “I dunno. I just started singing it.”
Ok. So what do you think the series of these events mean? I know for sure God is trying to tell me something. I need to stop and just listen. He is obviously knocking on my door. I need to open it.
When God speaks to you, it can be just thoughts running in your head, to nagging feelings that you experience over and over. This is something that I am fairly new to and still learning. Just be still in His presence. I have still haven’t decided on what I am doing yet, but I will continue to pray on this and seek His word. I do hear a still small voice say to me, “It will all be alright”.